My emotional status is at an All Time Low, an Oasis of feelings, I really have no idea what to feel now, I just feel so messed up, the only person I can blame for entering the Fray is myself. At times like this, mental strength seems to have taken a backseat, as though it doesn't apply anymore. But despite all this, no, I ain't gonna be no FOB.

Though today is supposed to be a happy day, like mr alex said on the phone, "they look like they just attended a funeral". I managed to pick myself up during the proceedings, but after that, I just let go again. The reality is that everything I have to face still exists, I'll have to find a way to resolve it somehow, and it ain't gonna be pretty. I'm supposed to be relieved that everything is finally over, but it just feels as though everything is just about to begin, and I won't have time to take a breather.

And then came another major blow. Somehow the bad things that I suspect always come true, but once again, the only one to blame is myself. My inability to control myself, my failure to actually see what I was going on. It's like, I was seeing it all in my peripheral vision, I knew it was there, but I just didn't change the focus.

Everything comes at a price, I don't think you know what that price is, but then again you don't really have to. I've more or less decided what I'm gonna do. And despite saying the same thing time and time again, I really have to stick to it this time. Ceteris paribus.

darren
No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels alright,
No you don't know what it's like, to be like me.