Rubber band or noodle? Turned out to be a noodle after much prodding and poking.

It's quite stupid that, up till now, and especially now, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't exactly know what I want, actually..I'm pretty sure I know what I want. What I want and what I will get are two completely different things. And it's precisely because of that that "if it's mean to be mine it will be mine" doesn't work anymore. But then again, I'm assuming so much.

Tahan tahan tahan, even though it hasn't been long, I feel quite close to the team. I was especially touched by what wei long said to us yesterday..which adds on to the reasons why he's one of the most, if not the most, senior I respect the most. And when the team said jiayou to cao yun and I for intro of nominees, it made me feel even worse, because their jiayou was intended for something that may mean having to quit, or being able to commit much less. Regardless, I'm still going for ophir.

It made me think about one of the first trainings we had, when we didn't really know each other much. We were having circuit training, and someone commented that someone else was really slow and everything. I didn't have much reaction back then, but after thinking about it, I felt really disappointed in that person, didn't really expect something like that. After we came back from ayam, we talked about why we joined tahan, many people joined it for a change, to push their limits. I'd rather be with people who may not have the standard yet, but are willing to push. Just because your standard is better, it's not even the best, it doesn't mean that you should say stuff like that, even if you are the best, it's an even better reason why stuff like that shouldn't be coming from your mouth. I thought that we learnt this a long time ago, maybe not.

Guitar and radio are my two current retreats now, though I wished I had my acoustic in boarding school. Ping and pong on muttons haha. But now there's the whole drama on 987, bleh, she better not go there and screw things up. And not forgetting the stupid things we do in school like breathing in helium(sorry bong) that keep my mind of all the problems.

Sigh sigh, it'll be over soon. But one problem being over just means that I'll have to tackle the next one. Haha, one step at a time..one step at a time.

darren
Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.