After so long, everything is more or less over. Whether I'm happy or sad or relieved, I'm not too sure either. It wasn't a good feeling being the underdog, though I more or less managed to convince myself that even the underdog can defy odds at times. I guess I just went up and said what I really felt, instead of what I really thought. I was mentally prepared for it, but I wouldn't say that I lost confidence such that I didn't give my best anymore. The only reason I ran for it was because I felt strongly about it.

And I'm starting to wonder if I made the right decision. I know that a lot of people believe in me, which I admit was quite surprising. But, to me, I will only go for it if I actually want it. I don't want to be going for something just because of the title or whatever. I mean, I don't doubt my own capabilities, but as compared to someone who has the capabilities coupled with the passion, I would think that the other person would be more apt. I wouldn't want to force myself into that position, risk dying out, and worst of all being a burden to the rest. If the situation arises, and there's really no one who wants the job and I think that I am able to do it, even if I may not really want it, I wouldn't mind of course. In cases like these, my motivation would simple be that I am able to fill that void. Sigh, what's done is done, no regrets.

I don't know why but, somehow it seems that the world around is getting way too practical, even in places I never expected. I never believed in doing stuff just for that pretty little portfolio. It's not that I'm not concerned about building my portfolio, but building a portfolio to me is not..building a portfolio. I'd rather do the things that you like, and the whole portfolio will just come naturally, there's no need to do something extra just for the sake of filling it up. I mean, when I look at my high school cca records for example, it's really kind of like a journal, it reminds me of the stuff I did, the stuff that taught me a lot, and most importantly, the stuff that I enjoyed doing.

I'm seriously lagging in my school work =/ can't figure out gas laws despite doing it before bleh. Work efficiency is low low low. Nevermind nevermind tomorrow shall be chionging day!

When an ong yongle suddenly talks to you on msn and says "DARREN I POSTED SOMETHING ON YOUR WALL" you know that it can't be something normal. It turned out to be those weird questions about friends.

How many times a day do you think about Darren Lum?
24hrs x 60 = 1440 min 1440min x 60 = 86400s 86400 times! :$

Haha thanks a lot yongle =) you may not have known it but it really made my day. Even though we may not talk as much as last time, I'm really glad to know you and worked under you once =) great friend great friend haha.

darren
Decision to decisions are made and not bought but I thought,
This wouldn't hurt a lot. I guess not.